I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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