apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
