i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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