i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
