i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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