high people should be assigned attendants
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
