Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
