I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize