Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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