I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
