2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
