Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
