I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
