You're completely useless in the revolution.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
