let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize