I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
