glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
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