if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
