He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
PANTIES FOUND
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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