and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
