The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She bit a glass in half.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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