Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
