I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
