NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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