Me too!
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
