Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
