I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
