I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
