I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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