Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
even my farts smell like vagina
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
