I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
