Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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