Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
