My Higher Power is John Stamos
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
