How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
