he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
