I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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