My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Send help, water and tortillas.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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