I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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