I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize