It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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