So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
