Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
