you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
