You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
