told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
