Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
