i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
as a side note pls kill me
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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