No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
