The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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