So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
