Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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