Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
