we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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