update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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