yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize