AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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