All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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