I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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