best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize