Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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