Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
