And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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