There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just threw up on my dentist
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I want her autograph on my taint
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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