so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize