Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
