Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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